


Souls cross ages, like clouds cross skies

by mirambella



Series: Chalex week 2020 [4]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25631962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirambella/pseuds/mirambella
Summary: Day 5 : Soulmate AUHe grew close to that stranger. In every memory his eyes were watching him with a softness he had never seen before. He got used to his hands, even if the feeling of them around his waist wasn’t real. He suffered the loss, when they parted.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Series: Chalex week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851190
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27
Collections: Chalex Week 2020





	Souls cross ages, like clouds cross skies

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the book " the cloud atlas"
> 
> I had this idea this morning. Not betaed

  
Alex had a brain injury. It came to him after a bad decision, at the worst moment of his life, when personality is built. But he survived and after four years he started to make up with himself.

  
The problem with suffering of TBI was all the secondary effects he experimented in the last four years: very bad migraines, visions, panic attacks….. They came and went, sometimes he had months of a very needed normality that had him at ease. He knew something would come back to fuck his life again.

  
He tried a standard life, though. He even had (kind of) a social life with friends, college fees and hobbies.  
And he had a boyfriend. Once. Winston. Alex tried. He tried to love him, because he was very passionate, hot, and dedicated, but it didn’t work. Alex tried to convince Winston that it wasn’t his fault, however, is not that what everybody says? Well, the break up was far from friendly. 

  
Alex best friend, Jess, used to tell him she was going to dedicate all her life to love and happiness. No apologies, and no regrets. Alex used to shake his head at that statement. 

  
“ I don’t see that happening to me” 

  
“ Maybe because you’re not even trying. “

  
“ I’m fucked. ” Alex sighed. 

  
“ That’s not new. Aren’t we all? The difference stays in how yo confront that issue. ”

  
Still, the feeling that nobody was right for him stayed in his brain as all the consequences of his brain injury.   
Speaking about that, the last few months a new (and weird) aftermath was overcoming the rest. He was dreaming. Not like the way he was having nightmares and woke up sweating and screaming in the past, it was more like memories, images of a life he hadn’t lived. 

  
And the main character of his dreams was a handsome boy, with blue piercing eyes an a big smile. Sweet and young, around his age. Was his mind projecting the need for love? 

  
He was seeing him in various situations, to the point that some of them made him blush. And it didn't happen just at night. He was daydreaming at class, having lunch or in the middle of a normal conversation. 

  
He grew close to that stranger. In every memory, his eyes were watching him with a softness he had never seen before. He got used to his hands, even if the feeling of them around his waist wasn’t real. He suffered the loss, when they parted. 

  
He was living hundreds of lives, from war to illustration, always finding this calming presence in his path, always loving the touch of his lips and the warmth of his embrace. 

  
Alex fell into a dangerous routine. He enjoyed loneliness because he felt complete, not alone. Was he losing his mind? He read everything he could about reincarnation in hopes of not blaming the TBI for everything he was going through, or maybe because one tiny part of himself still hoped he would find the boy of his dreams. Maybe he was real.

Their paths could have crossed at one point. Maybe he had seen him somewhere and his mind was playing with him.   
For what he knew, that guy could be stupid, cruel and mean, maybe he wasn’t soft, caring and loving. They didn’t really know each other. 

  
“ What I’m even saying. ” Alex couldn’t live with the feeling anymore so he told everything to his friend Tyler. He thought that he wouldn’t judge him or treat him as he was out of his mind “ I don’t believe in Love. Not like that. Love can’t be fated. “

  
“I don’t know “ Tyler was surprisingly calm. “I believe there is someone for all of us. Judging from what you told me, that doesn’t sound like a TBI aftermath.”

  
“ Yes. Thanks Ty. I’m obsessed with somebody that I don’t even know. No. Someone that might not be real. I can’t live my life out of a dream but I’m attached to that sensation, and is not even a real feeling. I think I should find some help, like a specialist”

  
For the first time after four years, he booked an appointment to see a psychologist. He hated how it made him feel, like he was broken or sick. He didn’t want more treatments, pills or even hypnosis. He couldn’t take the looks and the pity. 

  
But he couldn’t function like that. He was living in his mind, ignoring the world that was still whirling outside. Most of the time he was filled with love but there was something deeper…. Death. Loss.   
He was losing the love of his life in so many universes that his heart was shrinked as a paper ball. 

  
As he expected, the psychologist didn’t help. Was he having suicidal thoughts? Alex wasn’t so sure, but the feeling was starting to become unbearable.  
He abandoned every hope he ever had. 

  
That evening, hypnosis gave him a knew taste. The image of a life in the south of France, holding the boy he loved between lavender and pine trees. For the first time, it was more than a memory. Alex could feel the salty smell in his hair, the wind in his arms.   
The boy smiled and captured his heart. One more time. His fingers entwined. 

  
“ Je t’aime” His voice was soft but manly. “ café? “ 

  
He wanted to answer. Did the Alex of this world speak French? Probably, but the session was finished and he was left without an answer and craving for coffee. 

  
He stopped at a small place. One of those coffee shops with nice paintings on the walls and smell of cookies. They were almost closing. It was too late after all. Alex entered, and a bell announced his presence. The barista was partially distracted. 

  
Alex looked at the trays of cookies with so many different flavours, and then at the boy in front of him.   
His backpack fell from his shoulders as his heart, his pain and his yearning. It was him. 

  
“ Good evening. Welcome to Monet’s. I’m Charlie. “ The boy smiled.

  
_Charlie_

  
It was a relief to have (finally) a name. Alex could have cried in the instant he heard the stranger's voice, but he couldn’t say he loved him, that he missed him. They didn’t know each other.

  
“ I… I’m Alex. You… look familiar. This is stupid. I just want a cappuccino, please” Alex was babbling.

  
Charlie (or maybe another name) had died in his arms. More than once.

  
“ Cool, Alex. But let me tell you I wouldn’t call any client stupid. ” He winked

  
“ And… are those hazelnut cookies? “

  
“ Hazelnut and praline, actually. I make them. ”

  
“ OK. So I would like one. ” His smile was permanent.

  
Charlie looked more beautiful in real life, even with that stupid red apron. 

  
“ Take a seat. I will give it to you. ”

  
Alex paid and obliged. He couldn’t bring the conversation about how he knew him. It was creepy at least. He would drink his coffee and then leave. Maybe he could come back and they will have a proper conversation. At some point he could propose a date. Was Charlie gay? Would he be interested in someone that looked at him like that?

  
He blacked out for a moment while Charlie was serving him.

  
“ Thank you.”

  
“ I lied to you” Charlie confesed. “ I saw you… You pass outside the door every week. I kind of observe you. You look sad” his face changed “Oh, sorry… I’m intruding. . I didn’t know you saw me too. Now I sound like a stalker. Shit. I don’t know why I was thinking that I wanted to make you smile and that I would do anything for that “

  
Alex laughed. It wasn’t a cute laugh. It was quite sad, but also surprised.

  
“ This is going to sound fucking cheesy… I saw you in my dreams. Do you believe in soul mates? “

  
Half of him though that Charlie would run away but that question became two hours of conversation about life and fate. The light was fading outside. Charlie closed the café but didn’t ask Alex to leave. He took him to his apartment and they saw the sun reborn between the curtains. 

  
Alex revived hundreds of lives in one night. But this time, Charlie’s eyes were on his, giving him hope. His fingers were caresing the back of his hand. They slept side by side, exhausted.   
There were no dreams, no memories or past lives as he had found his destiny. And he could lose again, but beside Charlie the only tense that mattered was the present. 


End file.
